When you understand how a person thinks, their behavior makes sense.

I often ask myself “how does this person’s behavior make sense”, especially when they are doing something unhealthy or harmful.  Why is this person hurting themselves, lashing out at people, doing drugs, or some other thing that may be harmful?  The answer is that when you understand how a person is thinking, then their behavior makes sense.

Take suicide for instance.  Why would someone kill themselves and cause such pain for their family?  One answer is that, at that moment, they may truly believe that their children would be better off without them, and they may believe that they are causing their children harm by staying alive.  Now I don’t agree that this is ever the case, and I never agree that suicide is a good thing.  But if a good mother believed, really believed, that she was harming her children, wouldn’t it make sense that she would try to keep herself away from her children?

When people hurt themselves, why do they do this?  You may think what they’re doing is stupid, be it cutting, drugs, or whatever.  And I in no way approve of these behaviors.  And I understand that this is how these people have learned to stop emotional pain in their lives.  And I can understand wanting pain to go away.  So it’s a “both/and”.  I understand why people do things and I don’t approve of some of the things they do.

If you have done things that you think don’t make sense or are “stupid”, I’m willing to bet that there is a way to see it where your behavior makes a lot of sense, even if at the end of the day the behavior was not a healthy behavior.

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