All emotions have urges.  The Urge is how an emotion gets you to change your behavior. 

If I were chasing you with a machete, you would feel fear.  That fear would give you an urge…to RUN!!!  And it would be very easy for you to run.

We must respect emotions, like you would respect a wild animal.  If you don’t appreciate that it’s a wild animal, you might be careless around that animal and get your ear clawed off.  In the same way, we must appreciate how emotions work, and that means understanding that they give you the Urge to do something.  Sadness gives the Urge to shut down.  Anxiety gives the Urge to avoid or run.  Anger gives the Urge to fight.  Shame gives the Urge to hide.

You’re not a weirdo for wanting to shut down if you have depression, or wanting to avoid stuff if you are anxious.  It is what your body WANTS to do.  Because of the Urge.  What we can learn is HOW TO NOT ACT ON THE URGE.

But beware!  If you don’t take seriously how emotions work, you will start hating yourself for your Urges, instead of accepting that you simply have urges from your emotions and they do not reflect your values or desire.  And hating yourself feels about as good as getting your ear clawed off.


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